♥
so this is my blog now.
my bad points:
- im late most of the time with a lot of excuses, even when i try not to be. i DO try to be early, i DO wake up 3 hours before im supposed to meet whoever.
- i try to help people. too much maybe. so much so that they feel that they deserve it, and dont appreciate it.
- i forgive people, but sometimes i dont forget. its not that i dont want to, its just that i cant.
- im still a kid, even though i try to grow up and be mature. well, sorry if you cant take it, fuck off. im still 19 after all.
- whatever else, you can add on yourself. if you think im fake, or im immature, or i dont appreciate certain things, whatever.
BUT
- i love my friends. a lot.
maybe i dont show it in the way you do, but i remember a lot of stuff. blame my ohsovivid memory. i dont give flowers, i dont give birthday presents, i dont call people out. but it doesnt mean i dont love you.
and when i do actually call you out (whoever you may be), it just means i miss you. ok?
- im not fake. to certain people, YES I ADMIT IM FAKE. but who isnt. if i like you, ill help you, give you things, i wont ask you for things, and ill never forget you. thats that. whatever you want me to do, ill do it for you. you want to borrow my stuff, take my things, ask me for favours ill do it no questions asked. and since when have i questioned my friends' motives.
- i am very considerate. too considerate, in fact. if i feel like calling someone out, but i think that they would be busy, i wont (and its not that i dont want to). if you look moody, i wont talk to you (its not that i dont like you or dont feel like talking to you). if i say that i didnt see you, i really DIDNT SEE YOU. why the hell would i pretend i didnt see someone.
so if you think im fake, or that i want something from you, or i just talk to you cuz youre useful to me, fuck off, i dont need you in my life.
why the hell would i even be nice to you if i didnt want to. i wouldnt even be bothered to pick up your call or call you back if i didnt even like you.
maybe you guys dont think i remember stuff cuz i alws forget the superficial stuff, but i do.
i love ann.
i remember you used to carry this purple bag and almost lost it on the train and it travelled all the way to boon lay in sec sch. i remember you used to cut your long john fries. i remember you alws accidentally carry people's books home. i remember you always pulled my socks down cuz its so orhbiang but i was so used to it in pri sch. i remember your hairstyle in sec 1 and 2, so funny. i remember the swimming lessons at queensway. i remember that funny reversible jersey of yours. i remember you topped lit in sec2 once, with mrs seet. i remember you were alws good at math, and was ms smarty pants in sec sch.
i remember lots more stuff, so dont think i dont love you cuz i do.
i love grace.
i remember the first time i saw you, skinny mad woman. i remember how we first started talking. i remember your strawberry pants. i remember there was this time you and all the ypm people waited for me in church for like damn long cuz i was on 196. i remember the bed bugs during st johns and how we were so freaked out. i remember mega pool. i remember you did the cheena thing during some play and everyone was surprised you spoke good chinese. i remember how your hair was like in sec1 and 2. i remember how we used to spend our saturdays and sundays in sec sch. i remember galaxy and cs. i remember just exactly how you were like in sec1 and 2, this noisy little girl who talked to anyone and everyone.
and i love you too.
sob.
i liked sec sch and i liked jc times.
but we're growing up.
whatever.
i AM more mature.
shut up.
i love you people.
